If you wake up tomorrow and see an obituary in the paper with my name and photo don't panic. I'm planning to fake my own death so that I don't have to workout again tomorrow...
I've spent the last month working on aspects of my health other than physical health and it's been good. However, I knew there was still a nagging desire to address once again my physical health. So naturally I reconnected with SheDevil..you may remember her from previous posts. I would've blogged about my time with her last week but my legs wouldn't carry me to the computer until now.
I weighed in with her last week for the first time in a year and a half. Bad news.. my weight was up. Good news.. it could've been worse. So we set new goals and started working. Well, I started working.. she just sat there and laughed at me. Once again, I've re-established a relationship with my scale and once again the mental battles of weight loss began again. Defeating thoughts like "What makes you think you'll be successful this time?" and "Maybe you'll always be fat and just have to deal with that reality."
Then I read something that softened my view on myself and this battle and maybe it'll soften yours... "It's your future that determines your past; not the other way around. And since you are in charge of your future, then you determine the meaning of your past." So true!! The decisions we make today and tomorrow can determine what our past really means in the grand scheme of life.
So... maybe past "failures" and let-downs haven't really been failures at all if it builds me into a person that never quits, a person that continues to press forward and works for what she wants. Hmmm... I can live with that. That is IF I live through a 3rd day in a row with SheDevil tomorrow morning.
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